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I am man. Hear me bleat.
Don't Touch the Cephalopod - March 7, 2010
You might get your face sucked off.
Felt Up By a Stingray - March 5, 2010
Not all stingrays want to stab you in the heart.
Requiem for My Hat - March 4, 2010
You were my Indiana Jones hat.
The Hills Have Eyes, and They're Watching You Pee - March 3, 2010
I’m still trying to figure out if running is going to help me live
longer or just kill me outright.
The Passion of the Scooby - February 21, 2010
Blasphemy in a crowded theatre.
315 - February 15, 2010
It's a stupid guy thing.
The Battle of Yorkshire - January 23, 2010
I had a rebellion on my hands.
The Chippendales' Version - January 20, 2010
I had an ADHD moment.
Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers - January 16, 2010
Can you still call it nostalgia if it's bad?
Here's the Plan, Stan - January 8, 2010
If you're curious about what's happening with my book, read this.
Nickelback Sucks Donkey Balls - January 7, 2010
I can only take patriotism so far.
The Screaming Barfies - January 7, 2010
You scream, and then you barf.
Analyze This - December 18, 2009
People type some strange stuff into Google.
A Nut to Remember - November 21, 2009
And we never played that game again.
The Rubber Glove Treatment - November 18, 2009
You may find this uncomfortable.
Di Di Maui - November 11, 2009
Parenthood should come with a free cattle prod.
EPISODE V: The Reptard Strikes Back! - October 17, 2009
The Fail is strong with this one.
The Battle Maiden - September 24, 2009
The day approaches when I will live in fear.
Die Mofo - September 21, 2009
Nerf is creating the soldiers of the future.
Body for MY Wife - September 8, 2009 I hate being hung over.
The World's Coolest Job - July 27, 2009
Seize that day and kick its ass.
Injurious Television - July 24, 2009
Sometimes, it's okay to call a person retarded.
Internet Violence - July 15, 2009
Where I get all reflective-like about my writing.
Boromir is a Dick - July 10, 2009
I love my TV.
Dear Friend - July 5, 2009
You suck.
Inchy the Caterpillar - July 2, 2009
What can I say? It's a story about a bug.
Open Letter to the Head of Marketing for eHarmony - June 30, 2009
If I were you, I'd be pissed.
Smart Like Tractor - June 29, 2009
Alcohol causes my filter to malfunction.
The Live Show - June 29, 2009
What has been seen cannot be un-seen.
My White Trash Neighbors - June 23, 2009
Karma is a bitch.
Hoop Earring Girl and other Interesting Gym Patrons - June 18, 2009
Over 16 years of pumping iron, I've seen a lot of strange people.
Steroids and Spousal Abuse - June 17, 2009
It's not what you think.
Speed Kills - June 15, 2009
Where I discover that I'm not bulletproof.
Justifiable Repticide, Parts I - IV - May 14, 2009
My daughter has a pet bearded dragon. I want it to die.
The Underwear Affair - May 12, 2009
I was promised drunken hotties. Where are the drunken hotties?
A Tale of Two Junior High Schools - May 11, 2009
Nothing helps male teenage angst like punching another guy in the nose.
Adventures in Manscaping - May 7, 2009
I will never shave my chest again.
The Fart Game - April 20, 2009
Don't pretend like you've never played it.
The God of the iPod - April 14, 2009
A funny thing happened on the way home from a really crappy run.
Hide Your Shame - March 22, 2009
A drunken rafter gets pwned by my daughter.
Death by Misadventure - March 12, 2009
Alcohol
plus sharp pointy things equals a potential Darwin Award winner.
Frozen Peas and Tylenol Threes - March 10, 2009
The
not so happy story of my vasectomy.
Father of the Year - March 5, 2009
I gave my son the wrong thermos.
Dear Dumb Ass Diary - March 4, 2009
I need to stay away from the
book store.
Live Fast, Die Awesome - February 27, 2009
It's not every day a geezer like me gets a thumbs up from a teenage snowboarder.
How NOT to Run in Cold Weather - February 27, 2009
There are certain parts
of the male anatomy that should never be allowed to get frostbite.
Daddy Dearest - February 26, 2009
My daughter thinks I'm mean. She might be right.
Names and Places have been Withheld in Order to Protect the Clumsy - February 26, 2009
My best friend's experience with brain damage.
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