Chicago Tribune / Los Angeles Times

 

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My “In-Your-Face Fitness” began with the LA Times and then moved to the Chicago Tribune in 2012 and is now syndicated and runs in several dozen major newspapers across North America.

When my column moved from LA to Chicago, I became a regular contributor to “5 Questions” for the LA Times, which focuses on interviewing celebrities with unique health and fitness stories.

In-Your-Face Fitness: Running on an empty stomach vs. fueledMarch 18, 2016

5 Questions: Country music star Clay Walker battles MS with exerciseFebruary 20, 2016

5 Questions: Fitness model and ultra runner Ryan YoungFebruary 13, 2016

In-Your-Face Fitness: How weightlifting makes you better at other sportsDecember 24, 2015

In-Your-Face Fitness: How a life-changing moment helps find fitness passionOctober 1, 2015

5 Questions: Fitness interview with Geddy Lee from RushAugust 1, 2015

5 Questions: Fitness interview with Kevin Nealon of SNL fameJuly 7, 2015

5 Questions: Fitness interview with Def Leppard guitar god Phil CollenJune 27, 2015

In-Your-Face Fitness: Using fencing as a workoutApril 16, 2015

5 Questions: Olympic judo champion Kayla Harrison on sacrificing to be the bestMarch 13, 2015

In-Your-Face Fitness: An active lifestyle makes life and death betterMarch 6, 2015

5 Questions: Howie Mandel runs to be calmFebruary 6, 2015

5 Questions: Olympic champion skier Lindsay Vonn comes back from knee surgeryDecember 26, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Exercise is the best medicine for getting a good night’s sleepDecember 24, 2014

5 Questions: Tommy Chong on pumping ironNovember 21, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Can you be overweight and healthy?November 14, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Altitude Training: The High and LowOctober 2, 2014

5 Questions: Chris O’Donnell battles bad back with yogaSeptember 26, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Is CrossFit Right for You?September 19, 2014

5 Questions: Bill Maher on basketball marijuana-induced munchie attacksSeptember 5, 2014

5 Questions: Bethany Hamilton on surfing after shark attackAugust 15, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Tread carefully with treadmillsJuly 11, 2014

5 Questions: Andy Serkis on training for playing Gollum / movie apesJuly 11, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: A NEAT way to get in shapeMay 28, 2014

5 Questions: Hugh Jackman on becoming WolverineMay 24, 2014

5 Questions: Kristin Chenoweth learned fitness on the farm: May 10, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Runner with a Mission: BostonApril 25, 2014

5 Questions: Jennifer Hudson Weighs in on how She Lost 80 Pounds and Keeps Them OffMarch 21, 2014

In-Your-Face Fitness: Training Your Brain for CreativityMarch 14, 2014

LA Times Feature: Want Six-Pack Abs Like in 300? Think Thousands of RepsMarch 7, 2014

5 Questions: Nick Carter Sings a New Tune After Health Turn AroundFebruary 21, 2014

5 Questions: Interview with actor Cameron DiazJanuary 24, 2014

5 Questions: Interview with actor Kellan LutzJanuary 4, 2014

5 Questions: Interview with rock guitar god Joe SatrianiDecember 27, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: Exercise as a treatment for depressionDecember 5, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with newscaster Lou DobbsNovember 29, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with Astronaut Chris HadfieldNovember 2, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: What side of the road should you run on? October 23, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: Karate is a sport for the whole familyOctober 3, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with singer Sarah McLachlanSeptember 19, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with actor Jane SeymourAugust 9, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with Actor Michael Biehn July 19, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: Why aren’t gym memberships tax deductible?July 10, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with comedian Anthony Anderson June 15, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: Using exercise to battle addiction June 12, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: Backstage with the stars of Cirque du SoleilMay 29, 2013

In-Your-Face Fitness: Can stem cells help with sports injuries?May 1, 2013

5 Questions: Interview with KISS front man Paul StanleyApril 20, 2013

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Why I won’t let my kids play contact sportsMarch 27, 2013
I didn’t play football growing up. Never got to date a cheerleader. But, as a consolation prize, I have had an ambulatory adulthood. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Boxer Wladimir Klitschko on training, diet and sibling rivalryMarch 23, 2013
They call him Dr. Steelhammer, because not only could he punch you into a parallel universe, he also has a doctorate in sports sciences. Of his 62 boxing bouts, Olympic and world heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko has lost only three. For the 59 who faced him and lost, all but eight were knocked out. I just got a sympathy headache. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Dorothy Hamill on skating and regaining strength March 2, 2013
You know you’re famous when your haircut becomes the haircut. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Wear a helmet: It’s worth itFebruary 27, 2013
Two weeks later and the muscles in my neck are still sore.

It wasn’t my fault. She took a sharp turn right into me without looking, clipped my skis and sent me spinning. I ended up falling backward downhill and smashing the back of my head hard against the snow at Lake Louise ski resort in Canada’s Banff National Park. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Exercise: Choose your own potentialFebruary 13, 2013
Long ago I had one of those “choose-your-own adventure” books based on a James Bond movie, and I made bad choices; the poor British spy kept getting consumed in a vat of molten lava, impaled on a bunch of spiky things or became an appetizer for saltwater crocodiles.

But when it comes to the exercise-then-choose-your-food adventure that that I’ve lived my whole life, however, I have a far better track record. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Apolo Ohno now making strides against asthma February 9, 2013
Apolo Anton Ohno, the most decorated U.S. Winter Olympian of all time, was practicing for the 2002 Games when he learned he had exercise-induced asthma. It obviously didn’t destroy the sporting career of the eight-time medalist. And now he is the public face of a program to raise awareness about the condition, which affects more than 30 million Americans. Read more…  

 

5 Questions: JWoww: After the party’s over January 19, 2013
Even if you’ve never been to New Jersey, names such as Snooki, the Situation and JWoww have become part of our cultural lexicon, thanks to TV’s “Jersey Shore,” embodying how to rock your summer at the beach with lots of partying. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Brent Smith of Shinedown cleans up and slims downJanuary 12, 2013
The band Shinedown has been around for more than a decade, selling more than 10 million albums worldwide. In 2012 they launched their fourth album, “Amaryllis,” which made its debut at No. 4 on the Billboard 200. But the last year has been more than just about launching a new album for Brent Smith, the band’s lead singer. Read more…

 

In-Your Face Fitness: Tuning up your workoutDecember 12, 2012
When I started working out, I had a personal music player the size of a dachshund for exercise motivation. I filled it with Rush and Joe Satriani mix tapes to enhance my workouts. Technology has come a long way since then. Read more… 

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Working towards stronger bonesDecember 12, 2012
If you’re going to fall and break something, you should at least have a good story to tell.

I have broken nine bones. No, I was not abused. Some stories are better than others. The last bone I broke, the ulna in my left arm, involved a ski jump. Good story, except for the part about me being left-handed. Read more…

 

5 Questions: ‘Dog Whisperer’ Cesar Millan stays fit as leader of the pack November 24, 2012
When your job involves keeping up with animals that have twice the number of legs as you, it’s important to be in good shape. “Dog Whisperer” Cesar Millan doesn’t have a vocation that involves much sitting in front of a computer; he’s a man on the move as an advocate and trainer for human’s best friend. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Wendy Williams is proud to be fit November 10, 2012
Wendy Williams used to love the McRib, and she hid eating it. She hid eating a lot of things and also engaged in unhealthful behaviors to try to combat her weight. That’s all changed. Now the syndicated talk show host embraces her body type and uses exercise and healthful eating to look great for the people who really matter: herself and her husband. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Outrun diabetesNovember 1, 2012
Those poor polar bears, they can’t catch a break.

Not only do they have to contend with melting ice caps, but the constant Coke guzzling puts them at increased risk for developing Type 2 diabetes, which can lead to problems like erectile dysfunction and limb amputation. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Ruff workout: Not all dogs are born to runOctober 10, 2012
I had two standard poodles growing up, and I remember channeling Barbara Woodhouse and calling in a high-pitched British accent, “Walkies!” and then watching my pets come unglued in anticipation. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: SurvivorciseSeptember 26, 2012
If you’re being treated for breast cancer, chances are you feel like something stuck to the bottom of a shoe. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Patrick Muldoon on staying chiseledAugust 31, 2012
Patrick Muldoon had his brains sucked out by a bug-eyed alien in “Starship Troopers,” and perhaps more appealing he’s been both a kindly heartthrob, Austin Reed on “Days of Our Lives,” and an evil heartthrob, Richard Hart on “Melrose Place.” Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Taking time out for exercise pays in spadesAugust 25, 2012
I don’t know any Joneses, and if I did I wouldn’t waste my time trying to keep up with them.

Not on pointless things like the price of my car, color of my lawn or size of my TV, at least. I do like to compete on the size of my belly though, in that mine is way smaller than those of my neighbors. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Paralympian Casey Tibbs stays in the chaseAugust 11, 2012
The Paralympic Games don’t get as much attention as the Olympics, but the stories are often more inspiring — among them, people who experience severe physical trauma and come out stronger on the other side. That’s what happened with Casey Tibbs. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Light lifting, big muscles July 25, 2012
Attention fans of heavy lifting: Grab your torches and pitchforks! Someone is questioning your long-held beliefs told by preachers of the hard-core gospel and published ad nauseam in magazines with the word “muscle” in the title. Read more…


5 Questions: Olympic swimmer Matt Greevers
July 21, 2012
Olympic champion swimmer Matt Greevers, 27, knows about love. He loves his fiancée, he loves his sport and he loves his country. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Keeping up to keep weight offJuly 11, 2012
I’ve lost 50 pounds of fat and put on 20 pounds of muscle. It was quick and easy. Then I was abducted by aliens, and they told me the Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot are the ones making all those crop circles. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Ultra runner Scott Jurek on training and dietJuly 7, 2012
Scott Jurek is a nice guy who exhibits none of the sanctimonious proselytizing that vegans sometimes do. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Make your money “work out” for youJune 20, 2012
If you’ve seen Kim Kardashian, you know why she’s famous. One hint: It’s not for her knowledge of pharmacology. This is why I was surprised to see her on “20/20″ talking about QuickTrim diet pills, which she endorses. “We helped formulate this,” she said. Read more…

 

5 Questions: No shadows on Jenna Lee’s fitness spotlightJune 9, 2012
When your dad, Bob Lee, has played in the Super Bowl — twice — there is a familial expectation that you’ll be athletic. Jenna Lee is the youngest anchor in cable news networks, and her show “Happening Now” for Fox News often runs her ragged and creates chaos for her schedule, especially during an election year. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Can Nibbling Make You Slim? June 6, 2012
“Lord of the Rings” fans may recall Hobbits prefer six daily meals. If you Google “six meals a day,” however, you’ll find more than references to mythical creatures: There are a host of diet books, websites and articles purporting that having numerous small meals is critical to weight loss. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Elaine LaLanneMay 26, 2012
Full disclosure alert! I practically worshiped Jack LaLanne, who invented the modern fitness industry. He died last year at the age of 96. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: Creatine Built for BurstsMay 9, 2012
When I was a rookie weightlifter, I took creatine supplements because everyone else was doing it. I quit after a week for reasons you don’t want explained. Suffice to say it involved the words “gastrointestinal” and “distress.” Read more…

 

5 Questions: Montel Williams confronts MS head onMay 5, 2012
Montel Williams is not your typical pot-smoking snowboarder. Read more…

 

In-Your-Face Fitness: What if your kids can’t keep up?April 25, 2012
Early on, when my kids were young, I had a two-seat sport stroller that I could push them in while I went running. I could also tow them in it behind my bike. It was great, until my daughter realized she could whale the tar out of her older brother and there was no way for him to escape. And that was the end of that. Screams of terror ruin the Zen of exercise. Read more…

 

5 Questions: Sean AstinApril 14, 2012
Actor Sean Astin — a.k.a. Samwise Gamgee in “The Lord of the Rings” — trekked across much of Middle-earth wearing hairy prosthetic feet. Read more…

All columns below are “In-Your-Face Fitness” for the Los Angeles Times

Run the L.A. Marathon in less than 4 hours? Oh, yes he did.March 22, 2012
It’s March 18, the day of the Honda L.A. Marathon, and I’m about to do something foolish. Again. Read more…

 

Humbled by Los Angeles Marathon trainingMarch 17, 2012
For a recreational runner, there’s no rite of passage as masochistic as running a marathon. We ache for the battle scars: chafing, blisters and psychosis brought on by trying to figure out how to use the GPS watch that’s supposed to be a training aid. Read more…

 

Keeping your lower back pain free February 27, 2012
On a recent ski trip, my best friend handed me a flask of cinnamon schnapps. He called it “courage in 100-proof form,” and I needed it. I was perched at the edge of a cliff, looking at a 20-foot drop into thigh-deep powder. Read more…

 

Dumbbells can make you brainyFebruary 13, 2012
Actor Jesse Eisenberg’s character in the movie Zombieland extolled the virtues of “cardio” as an apocalyptic survival tool. It probably didn’t cross his mind it was making him a more scrumptious target for the walking dead. Read more…

 

Is there a right way for women to get ripped abs? January 30, 2012
There is something surreal about a former champion bodybuilder lifting up her shirt to show you her abs in the middle of a coffee shop. Read more…

 

Go ahead, run into old age January 16, 2012
Every time some post-middle-age person tells me he or she had to give up their running habit, I fear a little bit for my future. Read more…

 

All you need is loveJanuary 2, 2012
There is a word in fitness/health/weight loss marketing that is toxic. Sometimes it is blatant, other times implied. I hate this word. The word is “only.” Read more…

 

The joys of a home gymDecember 19, 2011
My wife is worried I’m going to become a shut-in surrounded by a dozen or so cats — though in my case the cats would have names like Schwarzenegger and Thor. Read more…

 

SoulCycle’s mix of cycling and upper-body workouts raises concerns November 28, 2011
I’m an outdoorsy type, and you won’t get me on a stationary bike unless there are a few inches of snow on the ground. But I’ve pedaled my way through enough indoor-cycling classes to know that instructors need to be engaging and entertaining to keep you coming back. Read more…

 

Crank up the rebellionNovember 14, 2011

My grandmothers always called me Jamie. Everyone did, until I insisted that we switch to the name on my birth certificate. This happened around the same time I attempted to grow my first mustache.

Regardless, there is a history of me using the name Jamie. I tell you this because I want you to join Jamie Fell’s Fitness Rebellion. Read more…

 

The pull to exercise outdoorsOctober 31, 2011
On a recent beautiful and sunny day, I strolled into my local gym to lift some weights. The gym is near Nose Hill Park, which is one of the largest municipal parks in North America. It has majestic views of the city of Calgary and the Rocky Mountains, which can be seen from endless miles of paths and trails. Read more…

 

Friend through thick and thin?October 17, 2011
Dear Friend:

You drew me to your website with promises of rapid muscle gain and even faster fat loss. I know we’re friends because that’s the first thing I saw at the top of your home page: “Dear Friend.” That makes it official, doesn’t it? Read more…

 

A few dents in those cellulite theoriesOctober 3, 2011
In July 2010, there was an end-of-days-type hailstorm in Calgary, and my little Acura got hammered. Now I drive a car that looks like it has cellulite. Read more…

How to build come-hither biceps September 19, 2011
I am not a jealous man, so my blood pressure did not skyrocket the other day when my wife told me this: “There was this one guy in high school who used to wear T-shirts that showed off his pipes and I drooled over him.” Read more…

High-intensity training burns more caloriesSeptember 5, 2011
Welcome to another exciting installment of Fun With Math! Read more…

 

Vanity can be a healthy asset August 22, 2011
You’re so vain. You probably think this column is about you.

Carly Simon may be down on vanity, but I’m cool with it, so long as you don’t go off the deep end. (I’m talking to you, Heidi Montag.) The desire to look good can be a powerful motivator for achieving health and fitness. Read more…

 

Use exercise to squash killer stressAugust 8, 2011
Do you ever feel like making a voodoo doll in the image of your boss, stabbing it full of pins, twisting its head off, then setting it on fire?

I remember those days. Read more…

 

FEATURE: Drummer Neil Peart’s body is a finely tuned instrumentJuly 25, 2011
Cue Simpsons-Comic-Book-Store-Guy voice: Best. Band. Ever!

If you’re a good drummer, it’s a physically demanding job. To be the greatest, you must follow a training regimen that goes beyond the lighted stage. Read more…

 

An injured ACL isn’t a death knell for athletes anymore July 11, 2011
Most athletic types would rather spend a month watching “Teletubbies” while reading Snooki’s blog than suffer an injury. And when it comes to getting hurt, the knee is one of the worst things you can damage. Read more…

 

Want a superhero physique? Here’s how June 27, 2011
Perhaps you’ve been to the multiplex to see Ryan Reynolds’ Green Lantern save the universe from the evil Parallax or to witness Chris Hemsworth’s Thor hurl his magical hammer at invading Frost Giants.

Perhaps you’ve wondered how those actors achieved the chiseled abdominals, powerful pecs and bulging biceps — and whether you could manage to get them yourself without their superhero powers. Read more…

 

Well, about that 10K goal…June 13, 2011
I picked a bad race for a personal best attempt.

Only one person out of 796 racers completed the June 4 Calgary Underwear Affair 10K in less than 40 minutes to claim first place, and it wasn’t me. Read more…

 

The weary road to a 10K milestoneMay 30, 2011
This is all Jack LaLanne’s fault.

He was the epitome of pushing your body to the limit, and he inspired many to find out what they were physically capable of regardless of age. Jack’s example got me thinking about testing my middle-aged body, and I’ve come to realize that striving to achieve a personal best hurts. So prepare for some whining. Read more…

 

The myth of ripped muscles and calorie burnsMay 16, 2011
Whenever I hear about some amazing way to boost resting metabolism, my male-bovine-droppings detector goes berserk. Take the perennially popular one stating that 1 pound of muscle burns an extra 50 calories a day while at rest — so if you gain 10 pounds of muscle, your resting metabolic rate (RMR) soars by an extra 500 calories each day. Read more…

 

Not motivated? Sign up for a raceMay 2, 2011
Forrest Gump discovered his passion for running on the spur of the moment, when a bunch of Alabama bullies were chasing him and his leg braces broke off. But for most of us, developing a commitment to running, cycling or some other form of exercise requires dedication, planning and intention.

If you find yourself in need of these essential ingredients, I have a suggestion: Sign up for a bike-a-thon. Or register for a fitness competition. Or, ahem, make a public declaration that you intend to complete a 10-K race in under 40 minutes.

I have taken the latter approach. Read more…


Kettlebells work for Daniel Baldwin, but are they right for you?
April 18, 2011
For the past few weeks, I’ve been sporting big yellow bruises on my forearms. I  blame actor Daniel Baldwin and his enthusiasm for kettlebells.

As you may know, Baldwin has had issues with weight, alcohol and drugs. He’s been on both “Celebrity Fit Club” and “Celebrity Rehab.” But things have turned around for Baldwin, and he gives a lot of credit to the kettlebell. Read more…

 

For best exercise, don’t be lonely or late April 4, 2011
Thinking about starting an exercise program to help lose weight? If you find some activity that allows you to regularly work out early in the day with the same group of people — and it’s something you like — then you’re well on your way.

Conversely, if you plan to exercise at the end of the day at home, alone, on some machine you bought from an infomercial, prepare to continue being fat. Read more…

 

Giving interval training a shot March 14, 2011
It gets cold where I live. But even when the forecast is for “hideous below zero” — as some Canadians are fond of saying — I’d still rather go outside than run on a treadmill.

That should give you an idea of how much I dislike this particular piece of workout equipment. Nevertheless, in the past week I’ve found myself doing the hamster imitation because I find treadmills good for one thing: high-intensity interval training, or HIIT for short. Read more…

 

Another look at high-intensity interval training February 28, 2011
Turn your body into a high-powered fat-burning machine!

If you see those words on a weight-loss website — especially if the site offers “secrets,” “tricks,” “simple rules” or other gimmicks that promise to make your fat melt away — you should be very skeptical. Read more…

 

Weightlifting can be helpful for obese kids February 14, 2011
It goes without saying that children who are obese would benefit from aerobic exercise. However, they’re likely to find the idea of going for a jog or spending half an hour on a treadmill about as appealing as watching Congress debate the fine points of tax policy on C-SPAN.

Fortunately, there’s an alternative form of exercise that plays to the strengths of plus-sized kids: weightlifting. Read more…

 

Jack LaLanne was a healthy show-off to the very end January 31, 2011
Jack LaLanne was an incredible showoff, and with good reason.

If you can do 1,033 push-ups in 23 minutes at the “over-the-hill” age of 42, then by all means show yourself off. If you can swim more than a mile through the strong currents of Long Beach Harbor while towing 70 people in 70 rowboats on your 70th birthday, then you’ve earned the right to show off — especially if you do this while handcuffed and shackled.

Jack lived his life completing implausible feats of strength and endurance, seemingly as a challenge to a world that said, “Let’s see you do that!” Read more…

 

Kids can lift weightsJanuary 10, 2011
My son is 12 years old, and he’s going through a lot of changes in his life, most of which he’d rather not see published in this column. However, there is one change I have permission to relay: He’s started lifting weights under my supervision.

I can already hear the protestations of physicians and parents. “Blasphemy!” they cry. “It’s not safe!” Read more…

 

Holistic nutrition is weak on science, strong on selling supplements December 20, 2010
“Holistic nutrition.” You may not know the term, but you’ve surely heard its claims. Among other things, holistic nutritionists (or HNs, as they call themselves) may teach that fluoride and pesticides are lethal, that most diseases and detrimental behaviors are diet-related and that many people would benefit from taking numerous supplements. I’ve read plenty of articles by HNs in which they assert that they are disparaged by mainstream medicine and warn you not to trust modern medicine. Read more…

 

A Twinkie diet? It comes down to calories December 6, 2010
When I tell people I’m on a high-carbohydrate diet, they give me a highly skeptical look, as if I just told them the moon landing was faked.

From a pure weight-loss perspective, I could eat nothing but bacon-wrapped sticks of butter topped with chocolate-covered Froot Loops, and as long as I maintained a caloric deficit I would lose weight. This concept has been proved time and again, most recently by the Twinkie Guy. Read more…

 

Dear Oprah: Those health guests may not be so healthful November 22, 2010
Dear Ms. Winfrey:

I get it.

I understand why you have so many guests on your show offering advice about health. I’m not a fan of alternative medicine, but I know sensationalism sells. Stuff that stands up to scientific scrutiny often lacks the pizazz that makes for scintillating television. Read more…

 

The six-pack pursuit gets ripped November 8, 2010
Poor Gerard Butler.

Ever since his rippling Spartan abdomen graced the silver screen in “300,” the gossip sites have been merciless. If he gains a few pounds and then has the audacity to go shirtless on a beach, the paparazzi snap a photo and make out like he just swallowed Rush Limbaugh. Read more…

 

Your braun on potOctober 25, 2010
Dude, put down the bong and the microwave burrito and groove to what I’m putting down. If a hot-looking, healthy and high-performance body sounds righteous, then realize that the weed is harshing up your ability to snag that prize.

I’m not going to be a downer on anyone’s choice of, you know, lifestyle. And being that I’m in Canada, I have no personal stake in the outcome of California’s Proposition 19, the ballot measure that would make pot legal (though subject to some restrictions). I just want to relay some facts about how marijuana and a healthy lifestyle — and especially weight loss and weight maintenance — can be mutually exclusive. Read more…

 

Ring the kettlebell, school’s back in October 11, 2010
I don’t know much about proper kettle bell techniques. Neither does Jillian Michaels.

I have an internationally respected fitness certification and 17 years’ experience with free weights, yet I lack the audacity to pretend I am qualified to teach kettle bells.

Jillian Michaels, on the other hand, is lacking in shame. At least that’s what I thought until I realized Michaels is not actually a real fitness trainer — she’s an actress playing the role of fitness trainer on TV and in a line of popular DVDs. Read more…

 

Rethinking protein powder September 27, 2010
When it comes to misguided efforts of average people wishing to pack on muscle, protein supplements are way up there. A 2004 study of exercisers at a Long Island commercial gym that was published in the International Journal of Sport Nutrition revealed that more than 40% of regular exercisers take protein supplements more than five times a week.

For people looking to get as huge as professional bodybuilders, protein powders do make sense. But for us regular folks who merely want to look good for the beach, bar or bed partner, these probably are unnecessary. Read more…

 

For that fabulous sculpted body, the Bowflex makes a good coat rack September 13, 2010
The people in the Bowflex commercials sure are pretty.

If you have any doubt that these models did not get their muscularly sculpted hairless physiques using a Bowflex and its patented Power Something Technology, then Google “Bowflex casting” and you’ll find talent agencies looking for ultra-lean gym rats with colored contact lenses to hock this soon-to-be coat rack for three easy payments of way too much money. Read more…

 

When to choose cosmetic surgery, and when not to August 30, 2010
I don’t have anything against cosmetic surgery.

No amount of running or iron pumping was going to do anything about the genetically programmed dark circles under my eyes, so I got those things zapped with a nuclear-powered laser that made me twitch and fidget in the chair like a spider monkey coming off a meth bender. Read more…

 

This magazine cover is not a health guide August 2, 2010
If, perchance, you are a fan of magazines prominently displayed in grocery checkout lines, please accept my apologies for any shattering of delusions that may be about to take place.

A few days ago, I was in one of these lines, my eyes wandering over the various magazines, one revealing a bikini-clad and heavily Photoshopped Kim Kardashian, something about someone videotaping something they shouldn’t have, some allegedly famous guy cheating on some girl of equally dubious fame — and cupcakes. Read more…