I’m a bad parent. I’m going to get it when I get home. My wife just emailed me saying my son called her at work to complain that I had accidentally put his sister’s thermos in his lunch box. His sister’s thermos has pretty flowers on it.

His friends laughed at him. He told his mother he’s not eating the soup in it. My wife wasn’t that sympathetic.

He’s pissed.

I’m laughing as I type this. I can’t help it. I feel bad. Poor kid.

Seriously, I do feel bad. I know what it's like to be a ten-year-old boy and shit like that can scar you. A mom can make a mistake like that, but a guy never should. I can screw up packing the wrong frilly girl shoes that don’t match whatever pink shirt for my daughter, but I should know better than to give my son something with flowers on it in his lunch.

I’m a bad parent. I should buy him some ice cream on the way home.

In my defense, my daughter’s thermos is blue and my son’s thermos is orange (his has dinosaurs on it). Conversely, the boy’s lunch box is blue and the girl’s lunch box is orange. You can see how a pre-coffee father can make a mistake like that, can’t you?

I still feel bad. My little guy can’t eat his yummy soup because the thermos has flowers on it. My son is going hungry today and it’s all my fault.

I hope this doesn’t turn him into a serial killer.

My next father’s day card is going to say, “Daddy, you suck.”

I’m still laughing.

Poor kid.