10 Apr 2018

The 10 Commandments of Having a Penis

And lo, man* arrived upon the earth, and looked down, and was pleased. Impressed with the magnificence of his member, he wished to share it with the world, but the Lord came unto him and said, “Dude, careful with the ‘came unto’ stuff with that thing. And man was all

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09 Apr 2018

Tony Robbins Has Always Been Shitty

My boss warned me it could be a career limiting move. It was 2007, and the big boss, my boss’s boss, was excited to take us all to see Tony Robbins speak for his “The Power Within” seminar. Everyone seemed excited, but not me. I told my boss I wouldn’t

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24 Mar 2018

The Unbearable Whiteness of Being Jordan Peterson

For someone whose primary shtick is rehashing millennia-old stoic philosophy, Jordan Peterson hasn’t been very stoic of late. A Canadian psychologist whose work has been lauded by the New York Times, the Guardian, Harvard University, and a bunch of alt-right man babies, had a bit of a temper tantrum on

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20 Mar 2018

Take This Facebook Quiz That’s Totally NOT Going to Hack Your Account

Hi. I’m a quiz. Just a quiz. Nothing to be worried about. I mean, I need to be able to access your Facebook account in order for you to find out what kind of diet soda you are, but there’s nothing nefarious about it. I promise. So just click that

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