03 Dec 2017

Doctors Don’t Know Shit About Nutrition

A slightly different version of this article was first published on IIFYM.com, December 15, 2016.  I am (happily) married to a family physician. There is a reason I do all the cooking. If you’re remotely skeptical, you know Dr. Oz is not a reasonable source of nutrition advice. But what

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02 Dec 2017

Using Caution with Hardcore Workouts

Some fitness programs are a challenge to your ego just by their name. Are you insane enough to complete “Insanity,” or are you a wimp? The website asks the question: “Are you ready to dig deep?” Well, are you? Motivated yet? Some people are. Some go for this marketing hype.

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01 Dec 2017

Fuck This One Chiropractor in Particular

Opiates kill my sex drive. I don’t ever write much about my sex life, and 2017 doesn’t seem like the year to start. I do embrace the reckoning that’s taking place; guys need to learn she doesn’t owe you shit. But in the context of this article, I want you

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29 Nov 2017

How to Ask for My Daughter’s Hand in Marriage

I have exactly as many goats as I want. Zero. I have zero goats. And I don’t want five goats. I don’t want even one goat. I want no goats. I don’t care if it’s a cute little baby goat. I don’t care if it’s a screaming goat or a

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