07 Jan 2015

45 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 45 Years

So because Facebook has a tendency to ram shit down my throat that I’d really rather not read, I was exposed to some hippie granola bullshit called “39 Life Lessons I’ve Learned in 39 Years.” I mean, it’s not all bullshit. There was some good stuff in there. There was

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07 Jan 2015

10 Signs You’re an Internet Fitness Douche Bag

The Web is a pit of contagion. It’s infected with fat loss and muscle building douchbaggery. Do you have a fitness website? Do you engage in any of these behaviors? If yes, then you might be an Internet fitness douche bag.   1. Your image is a cartoon Instead of

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07 Jan 2015

Did Jillian Michaels Do a “Bad, Bad Thing”?

This piece was first published on Six Pack Abs on November 13, 2013. It was very popular, being shared on Facebook over 3,000 times. Okay, so who really cares about this? The title of the article says “Jillian Michaels did a bad, bad thing.” That’s true, but not actually in

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07 Jan 2015

Veggie Smoothies Taste Like Satan’s Taint

This piece was first published on Six Pack Abs on November 8, 2013. There’s a scene in Breaking Bad where the meth-head hooker is gargling with Scope. I need not provide additional details. You know why. Drinking a veggie smoothie is like licking Satan’s taint. And the dingleberries are chunks

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