18 Jun 2015

Does Butter Cause Brain Damage?

The plural of “anecdote” is not “data.” But still, I have some awesome anecdotes about butter slurpers and how they achieve invading-Russia-in-winter levels of dumb. And so, I can only surmise that high levels of butter ingestion = drain bamage. It all began with some overripe bananas … I made

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16 Jun 2015

The Cardio Vs. Weights Cheat Sheet

Any time you move your ass you’re doing cardio. Weightlifting works your heart and lungs too, duh. A better term for what people refer to as “doing cardio” is “aerobic training.” But since I’m not totally anal, I’ll mostly stick with the common vernacular. This is all about weights vs.

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11 Jun 2015

Eat This Motherfucking Cheeseburger

My cheeseburger > your cheeseburger. I say that with confidence, because much profanity went into mine. It took a while to figure out how to not make the fuckers fall apart on the grill. So I kept tweaking the mix, not realizing it wasn’t the goddamn mix that was the

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05 Jun 2015

The REAL Viagra for Women

Bow-chika-bow-wow! Everyone is different, but even the “couples appeal” section of the pornographic Internet isn’t usually the answer to waning sexual desire in women. At the risk of promoting stereotypes that nonetheless have a basis in fact, a woman’s sexual desire is more complex than a man’s. We have Viagra

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