15 Mar 2015

How to Suck at Parenting

Shut up! Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! I wish I could say I only thought that, but I did say it aloud to my children. There are times that I suck at parenting. Lots of people do. If you have children, you have sucked at being their parent. The

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12 Mar 2015

You Don’t Have to Like Fat People

I am aware that I wrote a sensationalist headline. Got you reading, which is good, because this is important. The title is relevant, and in this context what I’m talking about in reference to “like” is what you consider physically attractive. You’re allowed to like what you want when it

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03 Mar 2015

Which is Worse: Paleo or Palin?

Today’s comparative dumbassery share common circumstance; they both recently strapped two hydrodynamic boards to their feet and achieved altitude overtop a carnivorous fish. Paleo jumped the shark late in 2013 with the marketing of “paleo water,” and last January Sarah Palin got too crazy even for the most ardent of

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27 Feb 2015

Being a Mom Doesn’t Make You Special

Holy shit, here we go. Being a mom doesn’t make you special. Biologically speaking, it means you had sex, or by some other means achieved an implanted embryo, grew a child inside you, and by scalpel or by stretching brought a baby into the world, then raised that baby. Or

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