01 Apr 2015

What the Hell Does “Toned” Mean, Anyway?

A toned, tanned and taut Tina tried on her tiny two-piece and thought she looked tantalizing. What does “toned” mean? It means magazine sales. It ranks up there with Secret Weight Loss Miracle Metabolism Belly Fat Diet. It’s a women’s magazine thing, cuz dudes are all about the mass, and

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24 Mar 2015

8 Things a Man Can Do to Stay Happily Married

Time flies when you’re having fun, but not when you’re having sex. “Really? Only five minutes? Seemed like it was longer than that.” I’m creeping up on 47, with more than 25 of those years ecstatically ensconced in a relationship with one very cool person. More than a quarter century

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19 Mar 2015

Does Diet Soda Increase Belly Fat?

Google Analytics tells me most of you are Americans, and so I drop the extra “u” when I write stuff like, “The behavior of my neighbor wearing battle armor was humorous.” But something about the word “soda” seems wrong. In Canada, we call it “pop.” Now that I think about

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17 Mar 2015

TIME SENSITIVE: If You Take Supplements You MUST Read This

Disclaimer #1: The only supplement I ever take is Vitamin D. Because, Canada. Disclaimer #2: If you do what I tell you to do in this post, I make money. For those of you not getting the Canada reference, it’s where I live. For six months out of the year

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