07 Jan 2015

Interview with MMA Fighter Jordan McDonald

This piece was first published on Six Pack Abs on March 21, 2013. Jordan McDonald, a competitive MMA fighter and model, offers tips for diet and exercise to achieve ultimate fitness. If you have ever punched Jordan McDonald in the face, then you’ve committed a crime against humanity. I mean,

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07 Jan 2015

An Open Letter to Lindsay Lohan

This piece was first published on Six Pack Abs on March 21, 2013. Dear Lindsay Lohan: I’ve got an idea that can save both your career, and your life, so listen up. Author’s note: Before sending hate mail, attempt to reverse your rectal-cranial inversion and realize that significant portions of

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07 Jan 2015

Six Things About Six Pack Abs (That Suck)

The realm of fitness is rife with reprobates. If the comments sections of various articles and oil-slicked YouTube videos are any indication, many readers are equally cognitively challenged. Many see six-pack abs as a credential to establish one’s authority as a “fitness expert.” Sometimes, I just see it as a

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07 Jan 2015

The Quest for Six Pack Abs: A Personal Tale of Woe

This piece was first published in IMPACT Magazine in September, 2010.  Never let it be said that I’m unwilling to suffer for my art, if you can call fitness writing “art.” I used to be fat, but now I’ve got a flat belly, which I figure is pretty good for

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