Thank you for taking some of your immensely valuable time to post a comment on my social media. Rest assured that I read at least some of it, and I’m certain the remainder was logical, factual, well written, free of grammatical or spelling errors, and did not at all resemble a word salad.

The reason you received this link is because there appears to be some disagreement between what I posted and what you believe to be true. And so, you bravely took it upon yourself to chastise the bad person on the internet for having an opinion different from yours. I expect your mother is most proud of such a laudable accomplishment. Tell her I said hi.

If it gives you solace, you may consider me properly castigated by your impeccable logic, your intelligent use of facts and your cutting wit.

I do understand your desire is to have me reply directly to your comment, but I’m afraid I’m not the master of time management you are. As a result, I find I’m often behind in my work and cannot afford the specific care and attention such thoughtful prose deserves so that we may spend hours going back and forth in an ultimate quest to prove who is the greater master of the caps lock key.

It is most unfortunate that, in addition to the hundreds of interviews I’ve conducted with myriad experts in fitness, health and nutrition that I cannot also take the time to engage with CrossFitting organic-fed troglodyte dieters, teenage libertarians, multi-level marketers of weight loss Saran Wrap or anti-vaccine mom bloggers to further expand my understanding of the human body and the merits of putting butter in coffee. Relying on the advice of qualified experts rather than on comments from the layperson with an internet connection to expand my knowledge base has created a terrible echo chamber for my thoughts, it’s true.

If you believe you have been directed to this link in error, please send me $100 US for every 100 words you would like me to type in reply.

Have an amazing day.

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James S. Fell is an internationally syndicated fitness columnist for the Chicago Tribune and author of Lose it Right: A Brutally Honest 3-Stage Program to Help You Get Fit and Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind, published by Random House Canada. He also interviews celebrities about their fitness stories for the Los Angeles Times, and is head fitness columnist for AskMen.com and a regular contributor to Men’s Health.

 

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